i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I looked at my own cervix.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
