It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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