im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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