i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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