It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
