Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
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