i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
