It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
