She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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