I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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