ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
