I hope mine doesn't look like that
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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