do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
