I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
