So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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