and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
