she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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