her vagine was all disorganized.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
