4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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