well I can't set my house on fire every night
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
