"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
