he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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