I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
