did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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