I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize