i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
