He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Someone signed my nipple.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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