how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
