All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
