I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.