I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
