I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?