R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms