In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.