The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
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Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!