I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
