Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
