we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
