And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
