Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
