yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
