This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
