this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
