i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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