You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize