Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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