Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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