it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
