I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize