i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
