Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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