whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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