I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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