i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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