We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize