Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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