Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Actions speak louder than pants.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
