I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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