I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
