I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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