Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
