I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
